Sympathy, although well meaning from most people, is the one aspect in which the good nature of people is frequently abused by those who live by entitlement and/or victimization. I truly think sympathetic people mean well but fail to see how enabling the sympathetic act can be. Unfortunately, it is easy for some people to stay where they are at and accept the good will of others and not reciprocate. Now don't get me wrong! We all need a helping hand every now and then, but to have the expectation that others will do for you what you won't do for yourself (and/or fail to reciprocate) is probably not the healthiest relationship. The point in being is that the receiver of the sympathy stays where they are at emotionally and spiritually and often will not push themselves to grow. It is often in the trials and tribulations of life that a person finds their strength and courage that they would not have discovered otherwise.
I find it takes a lot more courage to be compassionate then sympathetic. In fact, sympathy is easy compared to compassion! To have the wisdom to see the aspect of enabling that sympathy can endorse and to take the step to say "no" to someone can be a very compassionate, courageous response. Compassion is like "tough love". You make the decison that is best for all concerned, saying "no" to requests even though the person requesting may not understand your answer due their level of development. This lack of understanding can often be applied to others around the person who sympathize with them. Is it easy? No. Does it get easier with time? Yes. Am I guilty of this? Of course! but I do my best, despite my humanity, to be more mindful.
Part of the purpose of this blog is to share what I have learned, seen and experienced.To share with another reader who may be having similar experiences, to know that we are not alone, and that we aren't crazy adn we all aren't perfect. It helps.