So much has happened!!! So much transformation!!! Good and not so good but part of life. My beloved dogs are no longer with me and they were my faithful, loving companions for over 14 years that accepted me and loved me despite all my human faults. I learned sooo much from them about love, life and even death. Forgiveness of one's self and others. I still feel the light of lheir love and always will. It is amazing how powerful their presence was in my life and I was not aware until they were gone. Dogs give us what people cannot because all of our stuff/dross/triggers get in the way. So for right now, I am dogless as I'm going through these many energetic transformations. Would it be easier with a dog loving me? Well yeah but I have to admit, I did put a burden on my dogs to love me unconditionally and they were my source of well-being. That wasn't fair to them. So I am learning to be my own source of unconditional love and well-being. And as the song from Chicago goes "feeling stronger every day" https://youtu.be/DljvkWj_siY?si=0ndy8d3PZp6KjmQI
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I'm not talking about clothes. I'm talking about gossip...malicious gossip. Gossip with the intent to undermine/harm a person. Media uses this to boost ratings. I recently watched the documentary on PBS of Walter Winchell, who made a career out of airing dirty laundry, to his gain and to those of others including McCarthy. Interesting documentary.
What is it about dirty laundry that is attractive? Why is it that people gain pleasure in other's misfortunes? My opinion is that when we hear dirty laundry, it touches upon a time within us that we felt humiliated/shamed. Often at those times of humiliation that we felt we did not have the option to do anything about it. It becomes one of our wounds, and when triggered, it is often our wounded child who reacts from this unresolved humiliation. Ironically, often the person inflicting the humiliation is reacting from their wounded child as well. They hurt and want to hurt others (they're reacting as a child remember!) and they want others to know and feel how much they hurt. People hearing the dirty laundry have their wounds triggered and think and feel Yeah! That's not right! That's terrible! Same thing happened to me! And it feels liberating to share the dirty laundry from the wounded child perspective as the wounded child feels someone is finally speaking up for them. And, thus, they spread the dirty laundry out of being reactionary without discerning the truth of the words. This is one way advertising works. This is how politicians get your vote. This is how wars start and are fought. It is a powerful form of manipulation that works without many people realizing it. So how do we deal with dirty laundry? If it triggers us, we should reflect on what is in inside of us that is getting triggered. What does it feel like? When have we felt that same feeling before? Do not get discouraged if you cannot figure it out right away. Reflection takes practice. Sometimes these epiphanies come when we least expect it. People may think that they are just fine, and that they do not need to improve, much less reflect on their thoughts and behaviors.. The word evolve needs to replace improve. If we deny, or ignore, our triggers/wounds/unresolved issues, they eventually control us. How? We become easily manipulated by others and our unconscious choices. Because like it or not, these triggers/wounds are part of ourselves. All of our experiences have made us who we are today. The better we know ourselves, the better choices (and less reactionary choices ) we make for our life, family, community, and the evolvement of the human species.. Life has been busy with lots of things. I even took a siesta from my healing work. I just needed time.
Working as a nurse, Covid brought tremendous changes, but something had to happen. The world could not continue on its trajectory and something cataclysmic had to happen to get people’s awareness/attention. Some people got the messages (for it was more than just one), others are still kicking and screaming. What was some of the messages? Your beliefs, thoughts, words, and choices matter. Why, because we are all connected. We are all ONE. So many things, so many layers and those who choose to continue to distract and/or separate themselves, are becoming more unstable and spiraling downward. You can’t make it through this life alone. Accountability is essential and our society and cultures often take the blame route. Cultures and society won’t change until we do. It does start with the individual for the better we know ourself, the better we can help ourself and others. So basic and so complicated! The many paradoxes of living life. How to handle the paradox? We blend them together. Acknowledge the paradox and then instead of keeping them separated, blend them creatively together. As this is a strategy the 1% know. Keep the masses separated by issues such as Democrat/Republican, vaccination status, race, sex, religion, and the many other issues that we bicker about to keep us going in circles instead of united by both our differences and similarities. We have the differences in ourselves internally. We have our shadow side, the mother bear that comes out protectively and strikes. The old, deep patterns in ourself from childhood and society that we don’t like, and often many people are unaware of (but continue to project on others subconsciously). And many people cannot and will not “go there”. They are not ready for a multitude of reasons, consciously and unconsciously. They cannot face the truth of their shadow often because they built their whole life around their wounds and belief patterns, often unknowingly and from just surviving life. We all have an element of this. It is not an easy, nor fun job to reflect at times; however, the evolution of the soul and our species demands for us to evolve to survive. So how do we navigate this? First of all, work on your magnificant self. Although I acknowledge it is challenging to not want to help others, especially those who cause suffering. How do we help others who can’t or won't evolve? Well, that ‘s the heart breaker. Accept them as they are even though you may see the damage caused by their unconsciousness. Pray for them as well as yourself. Ask the angels to send grace. Soooooooo many forms for grace and who am I to say what this person needs as they walk their path here on Earth. You are not necessarily praying for the person to change, but for you to change the what you see and understand. The best present we can give humanity is our own evolution. Be an example. Live your life by example and that is the best testament. As we walk our own path conscious of our beliefs, thoughts, words, and choices, we connect to the best and most conscious part of ourself to where we can make profound differences in our life as well as others. Well...this simple question has perplexed me most of my life. Why? Because I hear, follow your bliss! Do what you love! Well...sometimes that is often not easy to decipher. There are many things that bring me moments of bliss... my dogs, family, friends, music, nature, and even work sometimes. Then you hear people talk about it on TV, Oprah, radio, conferences and the common denominator they all seem to have in common is that your purpose is related to what you DO. However, there is a great blog from Jeff Linzer, http://jefflinzer.blogspot.com. Incredible wisdom! Love his blog! (his wife is awesome too!) Anyway, he had a post touching on this subject of purpose and what I took away from his writing (along with some contemplation) was that MY purpose is to be me...it is not WHAT I do, it IS WHO I am. BINGO! Now it all finally makes sense and feels right. Although what I may do for a living may serve a purpose in making the world a better place, that service in and of itself, is only part of my purpose. IT is not my true purpose. My true purpose is to bring who I am into whatever it is that I am doing. To be present... to be aware...to live life as it is now and not be thinking of the past or what I'm going to be doing in the future. Although I feel it is not "bad" to think about the past for contemplation has brought me great insight into myself that I would not have otherwise known. I just try to be careful if I keep thinking about the same negative things, events, etc and know that what I focus on, gets bigger...true, oh so true.
So this brings me a question that I am often asked regarding my life's purpose. Why don't I do my healing work full time? And the answer to that question is...the only full time job that is important for me is to be myself, and as long as I bring who I am and being true to my self, my values to whatever I do, that is what is important. That is what matters. That IS my purpose. I do not have to be engaged in sacred work of healing in order to fulfill my purpose. There is a sacredness in being true to oneself despite the negative reviews from others (and that's a whole other subject!). Stay true to you. The path we walk may be wide enough for one person only at times, but it leads to a place where you can cross or share your path with other courageous souls while at the same time leaving a path for others to follow. NAMASTE Well. The last year has been something else! Basically, I was in survival mode and you don't really realize it, till you are out of it. But as a friend once told me, you get to prove to yourself, again, how strong you are. Sigh....!
What I learned will blow most of you away. It did me. My last relationship, much to my horror, was with an alcoholic. Did I know it at the time? No! I did not find out about it till we were living together. But I do have to give it to him, he did try to quit. Not the last year though, but prior to that, he tried. The irony, I was trying my best NOT to get involved with an addict because I know I will have to leave them. Cosmic humor...LMFAO! Not! The thing that tore me up and that I could not wrap my heart or head around was how can someone who loves you (and you KNOW they do) can say and do such mean and hateful things? My ex boyfriend would act like he didn't even say some of the hateful things he did. It was insane! Although this is not easy for me to admit, I am speaking to it to address the shame of being involved with an addict. The courage to put a voice to my experience will hopefully help another. It IS in these instances that not speaking, allows these experiences to continue, because you do feel all alone and feel like you cannot talk to anyone due to the shame and because we all know people naturally judge. No one is immune. The other part of this is that, most of these behaviors I'm talking about, occur behind closed walls...in our homes....away from the doctors, public, experts. Those living behind the closed doors experience this which makes it even more difficult to talk about because the addict often behaves differently in public. It is like living with 2 different people in the same body! Nevertheless, it wasn't until his death, that I finally understood. I did try asking him while he was alive why he did the things he did and said the things he said, and he could not give me an answer. But I did get the answer after his death. You see, my ex had schizophrenia. He truly did not remember the times of his hateful outbursts. Even though during these episodes. he was walking and talking, it was a different person "in there". Really. No BS. This is hard spiritual truth. There were several events that had happened to me that clarified this as well as things I learned from various people and teachers regarding this subject. Although this schizophrenia realization soothed my heart (it is harsh to hear hateful words from someone who loves you), it blew my mind ('suz the pun). To me, addiction is what I call self-induced schizophrenia. The addiction serves to disconnect a person from who they truly are. They are not present when engaging in their addiction/behavior (even though they think they are) and they are often angry, depressed or another what is often considered negative emotion. To further this subject, the addiction does not need to be a substance (it is just more easily seen), it can be an emotion. Depression, anger, especially if they are ignored/unresolved, to name the big ones. Anything that serves to help us escape the present (even sex, shopping, food), not that there is anything wrong with getting away from it all at times, but daily? Somebody should be waving the big red flag in front of your face. But that's another subject all together. How many people have the courage to really talk to a friend or tell a friend when they are traveling down the path? I can count only 1 in my life. The point is WHY and how often are you engaging in the behavior and is it harmful to yourself and/or others? However, the addict cannot often ask this question. Nevertheless, the more we engage in the behavior that separates us from our true self - the self that is present, and feeling, - the more we widen the gap. And this is the part many of you won't like....other things pop in... No lie! ....Really!.....I'm not joking...... and most often, those things are not nice. As Russell Brand said on his Oprah interview regarding his herion addiction, he knew that "this thing wanted him dead". Anybody who has lived or is living with an addict knows, on a deep level, that there is part of that person that wants them dead....and often succeeds. It is truly a dark force/energy and this is what many, many people do not know. They often think there is no harm in engaging in the destructive behavior and having a little fun. Again, that is a whole other subject. Now this subject has many, many layers and this is only the tip of the iceberg. But to put this part of the story simply, remember the story of the Good wolf and Bad wolf? An old Cherokee chief was teaching his grandson about life... "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, self-doubt, and ego. The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too." The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?" The old chief simply replied, "The one you feed." Feeding the behavior that serves to only separate yourself from God, yourself or how ever it is your faith has you looking at divinity - this behavior feeds the bad wolf. Behavior that serves to strengthen your well-being, enhance your connection to divinity, God, to keep you truly in touch with who you are, serves to feed the good wolf. Now I know this is very simply put and this issue is anything but simple, but you get the point. The other point is that none of us are immune. We all have the good wolf and bad wolf inside of us. What can be done? Quite a few things which are too lengthy to discuss here. One underlying theme is that this subject is deeply connected to our spiritual beliefs and development. Additionally, the danger in returning to the addiction and/or destructive behavior is that the relationship has already been set for those who have engaged. The connection has been made. Any engagement, including thought, serves to only strengthen the connection. The most important thing. Accept ourselves as we are now, including what we think are the good parts and the bad parts and the shame. Ignoring what we don't like doesn't make it go away, it often gives it more power. Knowledge of our bad side, or dark side or the side we wish we didn't have (however you want to view it), gives us power to help know, understand and control ourselves. To know that it is okay to be angry when something we care about is harmed, but it is not wise to take anger out on others (it is our anger, we got angry and it is our responsibility to deal with our anger in a responsible manner). Accept and forgive ourselves as we are, good and not so good. We all make mistakes and that is why we have new days to make a new, to do better and try harder and to forgive ourselves, and others, and for when we thought we could have done better. We all have the good wolf and the bad wolf. Accepting them both but feeding the good, helps us survive. Compassion or sympathy...what is the difference, or are they the same? I think these 2 words seem to be interchangable to most people and many may think they are being compassionate when they are sympathetic. However, I find a huge difference. The difference is in the concepts of enabling and courage.
Sympathy, although well meaning from most people, is the one aspect in which the good nature of people is frequently abused by those who live by entitlement and/or victimization. I truly think sympathetic people mean well but fail to see how enabling the sympathetic act can be. Unfortunately, it is easy for some people to stay where they are at and accept the good will of others and not reciprocate. Now don't get me wrong! We all need a helping hand every now and then, but to have the expectation that others will do for you what you won't do for yourself (and/or fail to reciprocate) is probably not the healthiest relationship. The point in being is that the receiver of the sympathy stays where they are at emotionally and spiritually and often will not push themselves to grow. It is often in the trials and tribulations of life that a person finds their strength and courage that they would not have discovered otherwise. I find it takes a lot more courage to be compassionate then sympathetic. In fact, sympathy is easy compared to compassion! To have the wisdom to see the aspect of enabling that sympathy can endorse and to take the step to say "no" to someone can be a very compassionate, courageous response. Compassion is like "tough love". You make the decison that is best for all concerned, saying "no" to requests even though the person requesting may not understand your answer due their level of development. This lack of understanding can often be applied to others around the person who sympathize with them. Is it easy? No. Does it get easier with time? Yes. Am I guilty of this? Of course! but I do my best, despite my humanity, to be more mindful. Part of the purpose of this blog is to share what I have learned, seen and experienced.To share with another reader who may be having similar experiences, to know that we are not alone, and that we aren't crazy adn we all aren't perfect. It helps. I think Anger gets a bad rap. Although it can be a very destructive energy, it can also be the most healing. For me, anger has shown me what I am passionate about. Pretty much whatever pisses me off the most, is what I truly care about. And when I'm really mad, anger is telling me (and sometimes it is often in retrospect that I have this awareness) that perhaps I'm revisiting a placed within myself that needs to be healed....the dreaded shadow. Shadows are often difficult to see, even when we're trying to find them. Anger is a "good" way of having our shadows right in our face. Having an awareness of what is transpiring in my moment of "fire" has helped me transform and heal painful wounds, although I think this transformation is ongoing and lifelong.
Yep...just when I think I have dealt with an issue, the memory arises, often unexpectedly, to see if I remember the lesson. "I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. - Martin Luther King, Jr.
It is a bit discouraging to see on the news, regarding the death of Bin Laden, the encouragement of rejoicing over fallen "enemies" (no, I'm not a fan of his!) I can understand the rejoicing behavior and have to admit that I have participated in the rejoicing of seeing "what comes around, goes around" to those who I felt betrayed me. However, with the recent images seen on TV of the "rejoicers", It strongly reminds me of other TV images of similar rejoices in the past by "the enemy". Everyone is acting the same (on TV). Are we really any different? Is history repeating itself? Is this behavior of "rejoicing" basic human nature? I don't think so. I think it is learned behavior. My point and discouragement is related to an awareness of a basic underlying, universal principle (which obviously I had forgotten in my moments of rejoicing)...what we do to another, we do to ourselves.....and it sometimes seems we are perpetuating and feeding the cycle of hate, ignorance, fear, often unknowingly, unconsciously and, unfortunately, encouraged/exhibited by the media. The media is, and has, trained us well. "Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that" Do I love those who I felt who have done me wrong? No, not really, that feels pretty "out there" to me, but I try (notice the operative word is try) to gain an understanding and appreciation of whatever the uncomfortable/hurtful situation is and to understand why I am feeling the way I am. I think where the love comes in is from a love of self and humanity and a desire for a better world in which to live. It is this love for myself as well as humanity that I put forth this effort of understanding. If I can transmute a situation from one of unconscious reaction to one of mindful reaction for myself, I am not only helping myself (as well as others), but I am not contributing to an unconscious hurtful energy. Thankfully, I can say that I have successfully taught myself to appreciate the learning experiences I have had from betrayal...and yes, it does take time and contemplation to get to that place of appreciation. Fortunately, the appreciation come easier and faster the more I practice. Consciously practice, consciously practice, consciously practice.... With everything that has been going on, in contemplation of internal and external events as well as discussion with wise souls, I (and it seems many others) are in the process of transformation.
Helpful tips to help wide the waves: 1. If I'm looking only at outcomes, I'm probably not where I need to be 2. Whether I like it or not what is happening, it is all a part of the process of growth 3. Move from exclusive to inclusive (everything is part of the whole). Be careful of resisting what is.....be accepting of it and don't let it stop my focus. 4. Be very clear about what is meaningful to me and decide where to focus my energy 5. We don't have to work alone. We are all in this together. Each person has a unique take on things and when we share, we all help each other. As I suspected, there are already reports of people taking Potassium Iodine inappropiately and ending up in the Emergency Room. This brings up a good opportunity to discuss the taking of supplements responsibly. As we all hopefully know, when in doubt, either take as directed by the label or your health care provider. I highly recommend learning to utilize kinesiology in determining your own unique constitution to know what is the appropiate dose for you. You can learn this anywhere and/or from a book but I learned at Peaceful Meadows Retreat in Boulder,CO (see my main page for more information and web link). Hanna also has a reasonably priced book "The Pendulum Book" which you can buy with or without a pendulum (see archived books).
Irresponsible supplement intake hurts everyone because then the FDA thinks that they have to come and save us from ourselves. Then everyone has limited access or they totally take the "dangerous" supplement off the market. The supplement isn't dangerous when taken correctly, however, the person who is taking it irresponsibly probably is. Ironically one of the most abused over the counter supplements, Tylenol, has done more harm than any herbal supplement due to inappropiate ingestion. Teenagers often use Tylenol for overdoses thinking it is not harmful and end up damaging their liver. (Aspirin overdoses can lead to dialysis). Can you imagine the uproar if the FDA took Tylenol off the market? You can't idiot proof America. Education, the willingness to learn, and accountability are the common sense approach, however, common sense seems to have often "flown the coop". All supplements deserve our respect. Below is a blog from http://tenpennyimc.com/Blog/post/2011/03/17/Prepare-but-dont-overreact.aspx about overreacting and iodine. (I post other blogs on occasion has they have written the information well and I feel the information should be shared) Prepare but don't overreact Thursday, 17 March 2011 09:24 by Dr Sherri NaturalNews.com is putting out a lot of good information about the uses of iodine and disaster planning. I'm working on an article about iodine that will be done soon. In the mean time, I wanted to share a few important points. Iodine chemistry, iodine/thyroid issues are really complex. When it is ingested, it is rapidly absorbed in the stomach and duodenum. Iodate, widely used in salt iodization, is reduced in the gut and absorbed as iodide. Iodine doesn't stay in the blood stream for very long; under normal circumstances, it has either been absorbed into tissues or eliminated by the kidneys in less than 12 hours. In my experience, you won't know how you will respond to iodine until you start taking it. In some, iodine is truly the "cure" to a long list of ailments. In others, it can cause a lot of problems and side effects. Iodine can correct Hashimoto's thyroiditis in some; in others, especially those who are low in selenium, it can *cause* Hashimoto's disease (an autoimmune inflammation of the thyroid). Given the necessity of iodine for life, it is not clear why some people react to iodine in salt or seafood. Side effects can include gastrointestinal symptoms (nausea, epigastric pain, and diarrhea), significant total-body rash, and something called "iodide fever". Toxic reactions generally require large doses, but some people are very sensitive and even small doses can cause a reaction. For patients on thyroid medications, taking iodine can effect their required dosage -- they may require less...or more. In almost everyone, the TSH will go up while on iodine, as explained below. It takes 150 micrograms per day to prevent a goiter, but iodine is also required for the rest of the body requires more. For example, 3000 mcg/day (3mg) is necessary to keep breasts healthy and it has been recommended that approximately 12,000 mcg/day (12mg/d) is needed to keep the entire body healthy. The Estimated Average Requirement (EAR) for iodine is the amount expected to meet the needs of 50% of people in a specific age group, based on a review of the medical/scientific literature. The government also suggests something called the UL, the Upper Limit dose that most healthy people can tolerate without a side effect. Here is a table that gives an idea of the recommended amounts for you and your children. Up to 10 times these amounts, if added gradually, will not cause a problem. Iodine is necessary for health of many organs including the pancreas, liver, and mucosa of gastric, small, and large intestine, nasopharynx, choroid plexus and the ciliary body of the eye, the skin, and the following glands: saliva, lacrimal (tear ducts) and both lactating and non-lactating mammary glands. TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) increases the activity of the Sodium-Iodine Symporter (NIS) that drives iodine into the thyroid and into the cells of the other organs. That is the reason that the TSH blood levels increase when patients are taking iodine -- the TSH is needed to drive iodine into the cells. Since many, if not most, people in the US and Canada are at least mildly iodine deficient, it is necessary to gradually increase the amount of iodine in your diet or as supplementation to avoid complications of suddenly introducing large amounts into your diet. Rapid addition of iodine can cause a list of side effects including thyroid suppression, palpitations, and skin rashes. Interestingly, a sudden increase in iodine intake may be linked to the development of a goiter, which is paradoxical since most goiters are linked to iodine deficiency. The best way to be proactive is to start adding foods into your diet that are very high in iodine. Here’s a short list: > Kelp (sea vegetable) – ¼ ounce, 415.00 mcg > Yogurt (low-fat) – 1 cup, 87.22 mcg > Cow’s milk (2%) – 1 cup, 58.56 mcg > Egg (whole, boiled) – 1 each, 23.76 mcg > Sardines and mackerel, fish with the highest iodine concentrations have approximately 250 µg of iodine/100 g > Strawberries – 1 cup, 12.96 mcg > Seaweed is particularly rich in iodine: that is, concentrations are 100-1000 times higher than in fish. Kombu, a commonly consumed seaweed, contains approximately 130,000 µg of iodine/100 g Other foods with small amounts iodine include Miso soup, spirulina, chlorella, brassica vegetables, beans and lentils. Cod liver oil and olive oil have vitamin A and D, both important for overall health. When taking iodine supplements, it is important to also take the mineral selenium (100-200mcg/day). Selenium interacts uniquely with iodine. It has antioxidant properties and protects the thyroid during the synthesis of thyroid hormones. It is also important for both activation and inactivation of thyroid hormone at the cellular level. Increasing iodine foods and/or adding supplments slowly is a reasonable response to the current conditions. Potassium iodide, whose chemical formula is KI, is the recommended form of iodine to take in the event of radiation exposure because it saturates the thyroid gland. Once saturated, the thyroid – and the body – cannot absorb radioactive iodine if the tissues are saturated with healthy iodine. Another form of iodine, potassium iodate, is second option. Potassium iodate includes one molecule of oxygen that not only extends the product's shelf life, but helps to eliminate the bitter taste of potassium iodide. While KI has been the most studied, both types of the tablets can provide protection. While iodine is sold primarily as a supplement, it deserves respect. Consuming anything other than small quantities should be done under the supervision of a physician or healthcare provider familiar with its chemical quirks. This is especially true if you are taking thyroid medication or have other thyroid problems. Taking massive dosages of iodine, such as the government- recommended 130 mg/day in the event of a radiation exposure, is definitely not necessary, unless you are right next to the reactor. Massive doses should be reserved for only extreme and confirmed exposures. In fact, a study in the New England Journal of Medicine done to determine the dose of KI in the event of a nuclear accident or fallout have shown that a single dose of 30 mg of iodine will suppress the uptake of radioactive iodine to less than 1.5% within 24 hr, Daily doses of 15 mg will maintain uptake of radioactive iodine below 2%. It is always good to be prepared. In this instance, it is really important to not overreact. |
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