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Reflection: What is it about dirty laundry?

4/24/2022

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I'm not talking about clothes. I'm talking about gossip...malicious gossip. Gossip with the intent to undermine/harm a person. Media uses this to boost ratings. I recently watched the documentary on PBS of Walter Winchell, who made a career out of airing dirty laundry, to his gain and to those of others including McCarthy. Interesting documentary.
What is it about dirty laundry that is attractive? Why is it that people gain pleasure in other's misfortunes? My opinion is that when we hear dirty laundry, it touches upon a time within us that we felt humiliated/shamed. Often at those times of humiliation that we felt we did not have the option to do anything about it. It becomes one of our wounds, and when triggered, it is often our wounded child who reacts from this unresolved humiliation. Ironically, often the person inflicting the humiliation is reacting from their wounded child as well. They hurt and want to hurt others (they're reacting as a child remember!) and they want others to know and feel how much they hurt. People hearing the dirty laundry have their wounds triggered and think and feel  Yeah! That's not right! That's terrible! Same thing happened to me! And it feels liberating to share the dirty laundry from the wounded child perspective as the wounded child feels someone is finally speaking up for them. And, thus, they spread the dirty laundry out of being reactionary without discerning the truth of the words. This is one way advertising works. This is how politicians get your vote. This is how wars start and are fought. It is a powerful form of manipulation that works without many people realizing it.
So how do we deal with dirty laundry? If it triggers us, we should reflect on what is in inside of us that is getting triggered. What does it feel like? When have we felt that same feeling before? Do not get discouraged if you cannot figure it out right away. Reflection takes practice. Sometimes these epiphanies come when we least expect it. People may think that they are just fine, and that they do not need to improve, much less reflect on their thoughts and behaviors.. The word evolve needs to replace improve. If we deny, or ignore, our triggers/wounds/unresolved issues, they eventually control us. How? We become easily manipulated by others and our unconscious choices.  Because like it or not, these triggers/wounds are part of ourselves. All of our experiences have made us who we are today. The better we know ourselves, the better choices (and less reactionary choices ) we make for our life, family, community, and the evolvement of the human species.. 
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